I don't know if I can still do this but as of the moment, I'm really far from considering it.
After that incident last year, I never really asked for a relationship of some sort. I kind of enjoyed being single even though there are times when I think about it. I knew how relationships suck at some point because you are obliged to do some stuff for the other, including those you don't like and not used to. I am not really in a relationship right now but I've been doing these things a lot lately. The irony! You know what sucks with this? It's how you are forced to do something just because the other gets angry and when the other gets angry, you can't really take that and you will get distracted and all. The worse part is, just when you are going through something that will define your future, certain things like this makes your focus weak. Can you just pause everything for a moment and work for your future? Actually, I thought about that, seriously. I thought about asking some space because I know I couldn't handle it if there would be stuff like what I've been talking about in the earlier part of this post, while you try to save your future. But I said, "You know he understands your situation and he would give you whatever you will need just so your focus wouldn't get weak." Yeah right, Cola. Yeah right. Not that I am saying that he doesn't understand me or maybe he really don't, I don't know. It's just that the timing is really off, that I can't deal with this right now, yet if I don't fix it soon, I will end up worrying about it the whole time. It's so frustrating! This is one of the reasons why I don't want to be in a relationship. I don't know, I guess I won't be going into one, not anytime soon.
I need to organize my thoughts.
