So, I watched this video about relationships. I was hesitant to watch it at first because I came from a break-up two or three weeks ago and I am trying to avoid such things that relate to the topic. My friend told me that it was a great film (more like a short film) so I decided to kill the laziness that's trying to overpower me. I watched it. And guess what, I liked it. It's a short film from YouTube about the stages in a relationship (as shown in the photo above), how each stage happens, how feelings suddenly change. I can really relate to it since it's actually what happened to me and my so-called boyfriend (I am kind of a bitter, still and EX boyfriend, by the way).
Relationships are some kind of an establishment that is built through a strong foundation between two people with different lives. It's some kind of a blessing, I may say, because you are given the chance to love and be loved by someone beyond your flaws and beyond everything that you might think is not acceptable in the eyes of some people. You meet a guy, exchange numbers, message each other everyday, get to know each other, these are the things that start the foundation. It normally starts with crushes or being friends. Either way, you are making the choice of wanting to get to know someone, and at that point, you are trying to see the beauty in this person that is seen by rare people in his life. So, you get along just fine, you hang out with each other and suddenly, you start to get attached. It's actually a normal thing for two persons who talk to each other everyday for a long time. You're getting used to the fact that both of you are there everyday. And as the attachment goes on and on, eventually, one of you falls in love (luckily for some, both of them fall for each other). At first, you get shy about your feelings, like you try to keep it to yourselves but as the heartbeat gets faster and faster, you will suddenly get the urge of wanting to release your feelings by telling him or her about it. So one normal, lazy, intense afternoon, you try to tell her about your feelings. Just in a tiny bit part of your mind and heart, (which I actually mean your whole mind and heart) you are expecting that she feel the same way. And when she don't, you try to get over the fact that she doesn't and start to act weird (if you're immature) around her like getting sad when she starts to date someone else to the point where it's actually obvious and sooner or later, the friendship goes out of hand and you, two, start to go on with your separate lives. But, hold on, we're not going there. When she tells you she feels the same way, you will get a life-changing moment realizing the fact that she likes you, that the person you like the most actually likes you. Isn't that great? Then you start to act like there's really going on between the two of you, like you'll get nervous whenever you, two, will meet and try to look nice in front of each other. And when you finally thought of wanting her to be your girlfriend, you try to ask if you could court her (in the Philippines, it happens). And when she said yes, you do everything to get her. You do everything you've never done before, everything she loves, like you'll be there 24/7 with her and just be the perfect man that every girl would love to have. It may take a lot of time and effort but you are sure of what you are doing, you are happy with what you are doing. You are..
Wait, am I still making a sense here? Whatever.
You are determined with everything. And then that day finally came. She said yes. And with your whole body, mind and heart, you wanted to jump and all because you're so happy and.. Happy. There's nothing that could ever let you say how happy you are and how thankful you are, you're just very very, incredibly happy. And there goes the start of your relationship. During the first months, you're nothing but more like a happy couple, something like you're newly-wed and such. You express how you love each other. And the effort even increases. You try to tell her how much you love her and how much you are happy that someone like her came into your life and changed it for the good. It's like those in movies, like your heart's going to explode every time you're together because you are very much in love, and like no one and nothing could ever separate the two of you.
After months and months, suddenly, the feeling starts to cool down, like the more things get into your routine everyday, the more you get to be used to it and in your mind, it's like everything's normal and it's like you get the feeling every time you're together so it's getting a little "Okay, here we are again, nothing new." The urge of wanting to be together lessens because you get the same feeling over and over and everything starts to be normal. Then there come the time where you'll be busy with the things in your life that you don't get to have time to spend with her and you just grow apart. In most relationship problems, this tends one side to be the one paying more attention about the problem and the other one is just the one who doesn't want to talk about it or just wanted to get away from thinking about it and so, the problem isn't solved. You live with it each and everyday. The other side struggles through the pain because things aren't solved. She finds every chance to fix it but the other one isn't trying. It takes two to tangle and in this situation, the point and wants of both sides is needed to patch things up. If not, then it won't work. As what in the film said, "Someone stops trying. The feelings aren't as strong as before." And as soon as things get worse, and the two of you couldn't handle working things out, the confused one decides to break things off, leaving the other one alone.
It really happens, right? That there are only two options in a relationship, it's either you break up or you stay strong and fight for your relationship, as said in the film. And when you break up, everything is just isn't right for the one who is hurt, like there are so many questions about it and she couldn't even find the right thing to do and everyday, she struggles though the pain she is feeling about the break up, while the other one, it's like nothing really happened, like he's so much happy with his life that everything have been done. You have built a strong relationship with this person, got used to it, discovered the best days you never thought you could have and sooner after you have fallen so hard, they actually let go. That's just how it is, right? You fight the pain every single day just so it doesn't get the whole out of you. You see that he's with someone else already and everything just flashes back to your mind, every memory you had and you're just.. hurt. You can't do anything about it. It's his life and you're just not that someone anymore. Face it, he's with someone else and it's not your handle anymore. And then, you try to move on and try to get your life back to where you just left it. The same story goes, you will meet someone and sooner, you will be left, again. That's just how things work. People leave and you just have to get used to it. It sucks but that's the way it is.
I kind of spoke for the relationship I recently had, but it happens. It's the same old story that everyone had and is having. Some things may just grow out of effort but they're not temporary. Life isn't about permanence. It's about fighting over and over when things get screwed. You get something, you let go of it. It's a cycle. You just have to be human enough to fight for your life. Because clearly, there's no permanent in life (except colors, okay random).
