Pessimistic

I guess there will always be a day where you think about how things aren't really going nice for you. I was watching this series. There was a couple who have been fighting over a song that the guy made a remix on. He used the song that the girl wrote. It was personal for the girl because she wrote that for the daughter she had given away three years ago. And then, the girl said that she was never the most important for every guy she dated. It kind of had me thinking about my own personal life. For my past relationships, I always have a competition in a sense that I was never really the priority. It's like competing with everything in the person's life. There was never a guy who actually treated me right. There's always has to be that one thing that the person always chooses over me, either lust, ambitions. I kept thinking, when will I ever be enough to someone that he would actually make me feel that nothing really matters. I know it's contradicting to the life I want to put up for myself and the image I want to pursue but it just keeps on popping in my mind and I am really tired. I am tired of thinking about how it has never been good to me, that I was never really on the right timing, that every guy I date or like isn't just right.

That was me being to pessimistic. I have to write more often.