Homesick

I've been thinking a lot lately with things I should not be thinking. I don't know. It's like my sickness. I always over think things and so it lead me to something I don't really want to feel.

So classes just started. I moved to a new condo, which my mom furnished. I really feel sad for my mom. We spent a lot for the things in the condo. From the dining, to my bed, to the accessories in it. And to think that my mom would go there almost everyday to fix stuff, and she would treat the worker to a lunch or snack or whatever. There are a lot of expenses aside from the condo and I feel really sad. I would see my mom with the sad face and I know and I can feel that she has so many problems about money, especially this month because it's enrollment month. My dad's work isn't really in demand at the moment so he don't get his salary that much. There are times that I wanted to cry because I really feel that mom's really bothered and tired. I would just hug her or make her smile because I don't want her being sad. I can't stand it. It's like the pain I feel whenever I am in an argument with someone I love (romance). I even cried on my first night in my new condo because I really miss her, and I want to be with her. I would always go their house every night to watch some telenovelas with her in the bed and go back to our house when I want to sleep already. It’s actually the first time I cried over my mom, because I want to be with her in years. The last time was when I was in my 1st grade. It was when a lover of mine sat beside me the whole day and I felt really scared. After that day, I usually cry in school because I want my mom beside me. I even had a picture of her in my table in school. I can say that as I grew up, I’ve grown away from my mom, I mean we still spend some time but not that much anymore. We became really close again, just last year. I guess because I’ve been away from her every weekday that I would miss her. I’ve never been this sentimental about my mom, but as of now, I can really feel that I love her, that I can really feel how much she loves me by doing things to make me happy. She’s the best mom in the whole wide world! I really miss her, like Oh my fucking gosh I miss her like hell! I feel really homesick. I miss my dad also and Sab, my niece.